Clarity
by Kuroneko-sama07
Summary: HieixKurama songfic! That means shounen-ai! Don't like, don't read! Takes place during the Dark Tournament; Hiei's up early one morning thinking about his situation with Yukina and thankfully, Kurama's there to lend him a little helping hand. Songfic to


Clarity  
  
By Kuroneko-sama07  
  
Rated PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Eh, I'm out of things to say except...*starts singing* These chicks don't even know the name of my band, but they're all on me like they wanna hold hands! LOL  
  
A/N: Hello! ^_^ Well, this fic is the first of two things for me--it's my first Yu Yu Hakusho and my first shounen-ai. ^^ I can't even believe I'm doing shounen-ai cuz I used to not like it...now all of a sudden I'm writing it! ^_^;; lol But anyways, it's Hiei/Kurama pairing because it's just so darn obvious. ^^ The idea just came to me one night while I was up watching Witch Hunter Robin but I was trying to go to sleep. lol  
  
So anyway, basic summary: This fic takes place one night(or rather early one morning^^) during the Dark Tournament. (Spoilers if you haven't gotten there yet!) Hiei is up thinking about Yukina and whether or not he should actually tell her his secret. He's trying not to let anyone see, but it's kinda troubling him...however, Kurama sees that and tries to help him out. ^_^ So yeah, there's not a WHOLE LOT of romance in this one...just some sweet stuff. I still think all Hiei/Kurama fans will enjoy this because rather than confiding in each other physically, they're doing it emotionally and with words. ^_^ So yeah, sweet stuff.^^ Well, I hope to keep everyone in character, especially Hiei.^^ This is a one-shot, songfic to "Clarity" by John Mayer, Hiei's POV, PG for obvious reasons, and...that's all! Enjoy!  
  
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5:45 A.M.  
  
I sighed and walked out onto the hotel room's balcony. It was so early in the morning the sun hadn't even risen yet. I knew we had a match a few hours later...but I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about her...Yukina.  
  
//I worry, I weigh three times my body  
  
I worry, I throw my fear around//  
  
I stood at the rail and gazed out onto the vast forests surrounding the building. Not even really noticing what I was doing, I began to examine my injured arm. My Dragon of the Darkness Flame attack really did a number on me. My arm did hurt, but I had no intentions of letting anyone know that.  
  
And then there was Yukina... As if I didn't have enough on my hands already, she had to show up and make things even more complicated for me. It's so hard being around her and hearing her talk about her "long-lost brother" not knowing that he was right there in front of her. But I could feel that something was different about me this morning... I felt different. I didn't feel so caught up in everything going on. It's strange to say that the relaxed feeling is what kept me up.  
  
//But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain  
  
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain//  
  
Before, I had been doing alot of thinking about Yukina and my injured arm. I kept wondering if I was making the right decision in hiding the truth from her. And I wouldn't let anyone know it, but I was concerned that my arm might cause a problem in later battles. You could say I was worried, but it doesn't matter what you say because no one knew and no one was going to know.  
  
All of a sudden, I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. It actually startled me because I was so deep in thought, but I knew instantly that it was Kurama. He knew that I knew it was him but I didn't push him away; I allowed him to have his fun. He slid his hands down my chest and loosely wrapped his arms around my neck.  
  
//By the time I recognize this moment  
  
This moment will be gone//  
  
"Kurama...," I finally spoke up. "Just what do you think you're doing?"  
  
He rested his head on my shoulder, and I heard him chuckle lightly. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, completely avoiding my question.  
  
"Nothing of any importance," I lied. "Why are you awake?"  
  
"Why do I have a feeling that it's about a certain female demon..." He seemed to be asking no one in particular, but that was the second question of mine he didn't answer.  
  
"Kurama, I do not appreciate you avoiding my questions," I said as I turned to face him which caused him to move his arms from around my neck.  
  
//But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on  
  
Well, all I got's...//  
  
"And I'm not thinking about her." With that said, I turned back around so my back was facing him, but this time he walked up and stood beside me.  
  
While I was wondering why he brought her up in the first place, I felt him place his hand on my injured arm. He carefully lifted my arm up and holding it with one hand, he gently traced his fingers of his other hand up and down my arm. I eyed him suspiciously as he did so, but I knew what he was thinking.  
  
"Does it still hurt?" he asked.  
  
"No, and it never did," I said, but obviously, Kurama didn't buy that. He gave my arm a quick squeeze, and I desperately tried not to, but I flinched anyway. I knew a smile had spread across his face, so I didn't even bother to look at him. Aggravated, I jerked my arm away.  
  
//And I will wait to find if this will last forever  
  
And I will wait to find if this will last forever//  
  
How was it that he knew exactly what was bothering me? Maybe Kurama knew me a little too well... But I'm still wondering how he even pulled that off.  
  
I decided to make a subject change in hopes to move the attention off of me. "I was surprised when I saw you in your true demon form the other day," I said as I looked at Kurama. He saw the smirk form on my face as I continued, "I like you best that way."  
  
Kurama smiled but looked away. "I figured as much. But I guess this human form will just have to do."  
  
I was actually enjoying this change in the conversation. Kurama thinks it's so easy for him to toy with me, but really, he's the easiest to tease.  
  
//And I will pay no mind  
  
When it won't and it won't because it can't  
  
It just can't; it's not supposed to...//  
  
I gazed back out onto the forests below, but then, Kurama placed his hand on my bandana covering my Jagan Eye and slowly traced his finger down the side of my face. I instantly looked up at him with a questioning stare.  
  
He must have seen that because he gave me an answer. "I was just thinking... You got the Jagan Eye so you could watch over her, didn't you?"  
  
I looked away and paused before answering, "Yes."  
  
There was silence for a while as flashbacks of the day I got the Jagan Eye returned to me. I'll always remember that day and everything that happened...it changed my life. With those thoughts in mind, I said, "I remember that during the surgery, I kept wondering why I was even going through with it. It hurt like hell...most pain I've ever felt in my entire life. But then, I'd think of Yukina...and it all seemed worth it."  
  
//Was there a second of time I looked around?  
  
Did I sail through or drop my anchor down?//  
  
"I admire that the most of you, Hiei," Kurama said quietly. I looked over at him, but he wasn't looking back at me. He was talking to me, but he was staring up into the night sky.  
  
Another phase of silence passed, but I broke it with a sudden question. "Do you think she knows it's me?"  
  
This time, Kurama looked at me as he spoke. "You mean, knows you're the brother she's looking for?"  
  
"Yeah. Sometimes I think that somehow, she knows it's me."  
  
Right then, I felt Kurama's hand on my shoulder. "No, she doesn't know. She's completely oblivious to the fact that her brother's right here."  
  
//Was anything enough to kiss the ground?  
  
And say I'm here now and she's here now//  
  
I found myself glancing back inside the hotel room. Through the glass door, I could just make out Yukina's sleeping figure on the couch. The girls had stayed in our room late the night before and ended up falling asleep. I can't say that I didn't enjoy Yukina's company.  
  
Kurama must have noticed my actions. "Why don't you tell her?"  
  
"No, she doesn't need to know. It's best this way."  
  
"But she's looking for her brother. She wants to know who he is. And I know you want to tell her," he said.  
  
"It doesn't matter if I want to or not. But I want her to keep on looking for him and to never know that it's me. It will only dissapoint her if she finds out."  
  
"Somehow...I don't think that's true. Yukina doesn't seem like she's the type of person to discriminate against others because of their past," he said reassuringly.  
  
//So much wasted in the afternoon  
  
So much sacred in the month of June  
  
How 'bout you?//  
  
I was silent as I thought about what Kurama just said. I knew he was right; Yukina wasn't that type of person. But she was so innocent...and well, I wasn't. Surely she'd be ashamed to have a brother such as myself.  
  
"I know you really care about her, Hiei," said Kurama, "And I know you only want what's best for her, but...she does have a right to know."  
  
"I know," I said quietly. I looked up at the sky and noticed that it was becoming lighter. The sun was already rising; talking with Kurama always passed the time away.  
  
//And I will wait to find if this will last forever  
  
And I will wait to find that it won't and it won't  
  
And it won't//  
  
"So why don't you tell her?" he asked again.  
  
I said nothing. I couldn't tell her...  
  
"You could tell her right now. Everyone's going to be waking up soon anyway. The sun's rising; it'd be perfect," he said.  
  
He was right; it did seem like it would be perfect. But it only sounded perfect in words, and that just wasn't enough for me.  
  
"You don't have to worry, Hiei," Kurama said quietly.  
  
//And I will pay no mind  
  
Worried 'bout no rainy weather//  
  
"Trust me," I said, "I'm not worried...anymore. Thank you, Kurama." I didn't need to say anything more to him; he knew what I was thinking. I've always liked that about him. I'm not good with words, but with him, I don't have to be. He figures it out without me having to say anything.  
  
Kurama and I stood there together and watched the sun rise. Neither of us said anything more on the matter, but there was nothing else to say.  
  
But I wasn't worried anymore. In just that short time I came to a realization. I decided I would tell Yukina one day...when the time was right. I didn't know when that would be, but I did know that when the time was right, I'd know it.  
  
//And I will waste no time  
  
Remaining in our lives together//  
  
I was going to tell her. I realized that I didn't want to go through the rest of my life regretting that I never told her when I had the chance. And I didn't want her going through the rest of her life trying to find her brother. She deserved to know the truth. I wanted her in my life as my sister. I wanted to seize the moment when it came...and that's what I planned to do.  
  
Yes, I thought, that's how it's going to be... Finally, I was content. Everything seemed so much clearer...  
  
The End.  
  
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Finished! ^^ I kinda liked that ending cuz "clearer" and "clarity". ^^ lol... So what do ya think? Do you think I'm okay at shounen-ai? I mean, should I do another one? ^^ Hmm...I don't know what other pairing I'd like to do besides Hiei/Kurama. Maybe I could just do more of those. lol But anyway, I just LOVE the song "Clarity" by John Mayer. Seriously, I listened to the radio as much as possible today just so I could hear it. I heard it four times. ^_^ But yeah, that's a great new album he's got out--"Heavier Things". I love all of his music; it reminds me of Zelda for some reason. o_O lol! And one more thing before I go--I have no idea if the sun actually rises and sets in the demon world. LOL But who cares--use your damn imagination. ^_^ Well, just had to make that clear.^^ Hope you enjoyed this! Please review! Ja ne! ^_~ 


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